1. You feel loved
This is the lifebelt of your relationship. This fact alone will stand the test of time, disasters, ups and downs and everything else that destiny throws at you. You feel serene and comfortable and there is no pressure on either of you to change. You are both happy with your body image, while trying to live a healthy lifestyle. You feel totally accepted. The shocking fact is that 80% of women in the US are dissatisfied with their physical appearance and are increasingly at risk for eating disorders. Figures for men are generally at around 45%. “I’m imperfect, you’re imperfect and that’s perfect.” – Anon
2. You make a great team
“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity’.” – Epicurus The real challenge comes when you have to face financial ruin, a serious illness or a tricky career move. Getting through difficult times by mutually supporting each other can be tough and heartbreaking. You both already learned that compromising on finances and career will make things easier. You know that you are self-confident as individuals but as a team, you rock!
3. You give honest, loving and constructive feedback
When there are moments of criticism or negativity, you are both able to give honest feedback. The mark of a truly great relationship is that you can do this constructively. Here are some tricks you use:
Ask to talk about it: ‘Is this a good time to talk about our redecoration project?’ Empathize: ‘I knew you were having problems with that.’ Praise: ‘You did a great job there.’ Criticize less – learn to let minor things go. Keep it brief.
You avoid using the following phrases like the plague:
‘The trouble with you is…’ ‘How many times have I told you…’ ‘You never listen.’ ‘We never talk about these things.’ ‘You’re so cheap – I just cannot understand why you did not tip the waiter.’
Constructive feedback is like the rain and sunshine on a plant, helping you both grow in love.
4. You organize date nights
Yes, you are still dating your partner and it is truly something to look forward to. Organizing a dinner out, cinema or whatever reminds you of when you were dating each other is one of the best ways to keep a relationship alive and flourishing.
5. You allow each other space to grow
Any great relationship allows each partner to grow as a person and pursue career and hobbies, without having to be there all the time. No great relationship thrives when one partner is clingy, overdependent or too bossy. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats’.” – Woody Allen
6. You always do one activity together
Leaving each other space is essential, but it is equally important to start doing one activity together. When you are in a great relationship, you always do something together, whether it is running, shopping, yoga or a new hobby. The bonding that comes from this fun activity strengthens your commitment and affection.
7. You trust each other 100%
Jealousy and mistrust have never been an issue and you trust each other 100%. So much so, that the idea of checking each other’s emails or text messages has never been a possibility. Openness, reliability in keeping promises, and honesty are the pillars of your relationship and that is why you completely trust each other. It is when these are eroded when relationships start to crumble.
8. You are both feminists
Men who support feminist issues are much more open about their partner’s career goals. The fact is that women appreciate the support. Women who are feminists are more relaxed about taking the initiative in sex. Read about the fascinating research done by the Rutgers University in New Jersey.
9. You know when to switch off your phone
You are attached to each other and not to your cell phones, Twitter or Facebook. You know when to switch off and spend prime time with each other. You cannot make love to a screen. Research done on 100,000 people by OkCupid.com, showed that the keen tweeters were less likely to have a long relationship. When you are in a great relationship, you arrive home and you switch off your phone before you come in. Then you greet your partner and start getting attached to him or her. Of course you do that, don’t you?
Featured photo credit: Happy couple/knittymarie via Flickr.com
